To not Suicide

A knife,

Only one bullet

A glass of poison with the taste of honey

A rope and only one ring on the window of my room

Its enough, from now and on neither worrying will reach the dust rising from my feet, nor fear will hit top of my head with the back of its shoes

There will be no snake-like road leading me to the human's kingdom

But what an heartbreak..!

After that, there will be no bird making my looks full of flying

No garden introducing me to a new seedling

One knife and I will start dancing more beautiful than a fish

One bullet and my neck will fall down more pampered than a flower

One glass of poison and I will turn into a sleeping cat

One Rope and I will learn flying much more better than a bird

***

A rope and only one ring of it on the window of my room

A glass of poison with the taste of honey

Only one bullet

A knife,

And my shoulder will no loner touch the rough shoulder of any sadness

No sadness will shake my shoulder

If I sing any song, I will not bother any one

If they sing any song, it will not make me sad

But i am only afraid that from now and on no sun will wake me up in a summer morning

No fly to annoy me and

I will not see a half empty glass of water over my head

The smell of a piece of watermelon left on a tray will not come over me

I will be afraid of that when a poem will not wake my senses up by the soft feathers of its wings

I am worry about that Vulnerability

That I will not see a clay wall a gain

An adventurous taxi driver will not throw the dirty water on the street to my clothes

A funny butcher will not sell a kilo of full-of-bones meet to me

I will not hear a salesman shouting....Come to buy these cucumber with flower

How awful for me to die and

A crazy man will no longer call me stupid

A girl will not tell me

hey old man why you are looking at me?

A doctor will not ask me to take an ultra sound check

A Sensuous worker will not call me"awake"

A tailor will not say: only one button left

A teaـman will not ask:

Strong and sweet, or light and less sugar?

A smuggler will not deceive me to be returned back with a tightened heart and rusty blood

I am afraid to die and

I will not hear a song from a high-cherished worker while caring a box of cement

I will not see a child coming out to the street with her mother's shoes.

A teenager stopping a girl of his neighborhood

An old man narrating his adventures moving his prayer beads

***

One knife and I will be a singular number, singular and alone,

A bullet and I will be the sacrifice of my own craziness

A glass of poison and the story of hearts will turn into legends

A rope, some shaking and a purple silence

***

A worn out rope

A glass of expired poison

A weak bullet

And a broken knife

I will put them over my head

A rope

And a glass of poison

A bullet and a knife

Within a fruit nylon I will throw them into the garbage.

Barzan Hastiar

Translated by: Vienna Salam